


A Tempest is Brewing

by PenMasterShepard



Category: Mass Effect, Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-16
Updated: 2017-04-21
Packaged: 2018-10-19 11:29:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10638921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PenMasterShepard/pseuds/PenMasterShepard
Summary: Something wicked this way comes – and she’s a beautiful shade of blue





	1. Chapter 1

The stars were beautiful, twinkling and dancing as the ship floated, barely a nautical mile at a time, outside the perimeter of Nexus space. She was aching to take off again, hightail it back to Aya with its lush waterfalls and comfortable climate; it’s bars and museums and semblance of Milky Way comforts… Andromeda wasn’t what she had been expecting. Adventure, yes; hardship, okay, maybe; but this war they were waging against both planet and kett, barely holding on by their fingertips: it was not what she had been sold. She heard a bang behind her; _she_ wasn't what she was expecting either. Ryder sighed, turning her eyes to Suvi, who looked up at her from her navigator’s seat.

“Is she building something in there?” The thick Scottish brogue belayed her alarm, but Ryder just shrugged;

“Who knows? I’ve given up trying to figure out Peebee.”  

That was lie.

Star gazing and her grand shore-leave pipedreams had been a poorly planned distraction from a spinning mind, from the very asari who was seemingly trying to tear down the Tempest around her ears. A  _Tempest is brewing, indeed,_ Sara thought, turning back to those beautiful stars; beautiful like she was: gleaming and glittering from afar, dangerous and positively burning when you entered their orbit. Which she had, despite her best efforts; Ryder had been drawn in and was currently spiraling through the atmosphere that was Peebee, at terminal velocity. Ryder punched a nav point in – some satellite Addison wanted them to track down – and leaned against the pulpit railing; it transformed the traditional Galaxy Map into something more nautical and Sara was secretly delighted every time she stepped out onto it, Andromeda surrounding her in 360 degrees of wonder. The helm was hers, reluctantly inherited through some crackpot scheme courtesy of the late Alec Ryder; but the problem mere metres away was her own doing.  _My own white whale, to go with my own ship,_ she thought,  _holed up an escaped pod like a lunatic… just out of reach. She’ll be the death of me before I capture that mad heart._

 _Love wasn’t supposed to be on the mission docket;_ it was one path she had not intended to blaze. 

She hadn’t had a choice. The choice had been taken from her the second an asari-shaped grenade had landed in her lap. On her lap. 

 

A wild-child rocket punching an asari-shaped hole in her heart. An asari with killer arms under that leather jacket; with glinting eyes and a smile that came easy to her face; with that tantalizing strip of stomach always on display: firm and blue and begging to be adored…

_“I think tackling you anywhere would be fun… Oh, did I say that aloud?”_

Sara groaned and Kallo made a return noise, checking and double-checking their course;  _at least I have him fooled._ She waved his concern away; if he wanted to assume it was about their current course, let him. She let her hair down, holding her hairtie in her mouth, gathering it behind her again and tightening as she looked out at the churning, coiling perpetual night sky. It really was beautiful…

 _Pelessaria;_ it _was so beautiful. Pelessaria B’Sayle. God, like an opera aria; a great graceful movement of song. Pelessaria, Pelessaria, Pelessaria-_ repeated in her head like a school girl. Wanted to carve it into a tree on Havarl, scrawl it on a stall in the bathroom next to the medbay:  _Sara loves Pelessaria Peebee + Ryder 4vr._ She was supposed to be a leader for her people, for the Initiative, not some lovesick teenager. What would Scott think? That lifted a burn in her chest. Scott, who would have given her advice; who had always been the more levelheaded Ryder twin. Scott who would get her drunk, slowly, over good Thessian beer, while they talked it all out. 

_What if it had been Scott instead of me? What if Dad had chosen him, and he had been at that damned Remnant console; or, God-forbid – what if he hadn’t? She would never have been here…_

Would her hips have been so… just so-God-pressed into- Would she have  _lingered_ on top of him…

Was she reading too much into all this? 

 

_One minute Ryder was reaching out to adjust the console, the next she was knocked flat on her back, a heavy presence sitting on her hips, the air knocked from her chest. She liked to believe it was the beauty above her that stole her breath, not the impact; always a romantic._

_She looked up to a smirk and a glance down from the asari; clenching hands on her hips, overly familiar and warm even through her armor._

_Then Liam and his stupid gun and stupid split-second decisions had removed those hands from their delicious position, lifted into the air in surrender. The need for extra balance had caused their pelvises to grind, and yet, the asari hadn’t climbed off._

_An asari of the deepest sapphire royal blue Ryder had ever seen, bordering on something plush and dark. A smudge of black across her eyes, nothing like the sweeping, regal markings she was used to seeing._ Were they markings or was it paint? _She thought;_ _Ryder wanted to reach up and touch it, smudge it in her fingertips. And those eyes, an eerie yellow green, a hazel that glowed gleefully; like an imp. Like her own Puck; a pan to lead her into distraction... But they were wide and round and inviting; friendly and open. True windows to her soul, Sara knew now: tumultuous and eager, wild and comforting all at once._

 _Slender, but solid: short, it seemed from her point of view, even with her towering on top of her in the desert sand._ _Hip to hip, Ryder’s hands brushing against tone thighs._

_“Just let it ride…”_

 

God, let it ride indeed…

_Then she was gone, lovely blue hands hidden behind lovely leather gloves were pushing against her breasts, giving leverage, and then she was up and gone…_

She squirmed and sighed again; it would be hours before they were in Nol – exactly the opposite climate from her mock vacation on Aya – and she couldn’t linger here daydreaming, waiting to see if Peebee would emerge from her little cage. She shifted uncomfortably, her pants suddenly too tight, her skin too flushed... There was one thing that would take the edge off...

 _Well…_ was very thankful for her own cabin, her own bed with it’s privacy and lockable door and…

 

She had slid down the ladder to her quarters and stripped off clothes as she went: jacket, scarf, tank top all lying where they dropped. She wiggled out of her pants and underwear and dimmed the cabin lights, instructing SAM to turn on the radio, softly: didn’t know how thick the walls were; didn’t need the crew to  _hear_. Sara slipped under the covers, naked save her simple white bra, and lay there for a moment, the sudden urge to quench the fire she felt faltering… She blushed, even though she was alone; ran her hands along her thighs, remembering the heavy weight of Peebee there; remembering the sweltering heat of Eos and the sweltering heat of Pelessaria…  _what is wrong with you, Sara?_ She thought, closing her eyes against her embarrassment.  _The poor woman is one deck above me, has no idea I’m here just_ thinking _of her, lurking with her memories… what I need is a cold shower._ Except she already knew subzero temperatures did nothing to snuff out the blistering temptation of Peebee…  Voeld’s icy drifts had taught her that… she felt a strange burn in her gut, remembering the way the Nomad’s view ports had steamed up from Ryder’s mortification alone, or so she had feared at the time…

 

Hands slid along thighs again; teeth bit at a bottom lip.

_“Oh!_ Ryder…”  _The tone of her voice; light, but carnal… Sara had almost slammed on the breaks, felt her heart skip a beat as her toes tingled in her boots, her stomach a pit of twirling desire; glad she hadn’t driven them into a crevice._

 _“Are you sure?” Peebee was practically panting… “Here?_ Now? _” Sara had gulped and replied in not so much words as garbled noises and cracking vocal chords._

 

Hand slipping between legs now, knees drawing up slightly; as wet as she had thought she would be. The memory driving her on. Her nipple in her palm, stiffening.

_Had she fallen asleep at the wheel? Died? She had lusted after the asari for days since their meeting, had flirted lightly with her in her escape pod, but she never thought she had been this convincing… this_ tempting _. Couldn’t be real; not now, not here… But –_ oh my God, her voice… her airy, lustful – are those little gasps?

 

Fingers coated in slick, her modest biotics adding a handy hum of pleasant electricity; head thrown back onto her pillow as she hit that tiny bundle of nerves so begging for attention. _Mmmmmm._ This is how she had imagined Peebee, when-

 

Oh my god, is she back there touching herself-?-I-can’t-even- why is this rearview mirror frosted over?!  _Didn't dare turn around to see her. To see that look in her eyes._ _To see her face screwed up in ecstasy…_ God damn, I am going to pull this car over and take you right now you dirty little asari-  _“But Jaal’s right here,” as if she had read her thoughts; went red against Voeld’s ashen drifts. She was gasping now, as if the mere thought of Sara’s hands on her would bring her to the brink of orgasm – “what if he wakes up-uuuuhhhhh-“ Ryder’s mouth went very dry and she gripped the steering wheel as Peebee moaned so loud and so liltingly high pitched that Sara thought she_ had _come all over the Nomad’s back seat. “Oh, screw it…” she panted, “I want you… let’s do it.”_

 

She was so close…  _“I want you… I want you… I want you…”_ playing over and over in her head. Imagining it was _her_ fingers – _her_ _tongue_ – above her, again, hip to hip, but with no clothing in the way this time… She sunk two fingers inside, imagining it wasn’t herself; imagining it was slender, blue fingers, those same enchanting noises so close to her ear – so close that she could feel the breath and taste her arousal in the air and-

 

 _-and Sara had slammed on the brakes then, feigning a pothole near miss when Jaal had broken the spell with his really rather polite agreeableness; offered to give them privacy._ I should give that man a medal… _Peebee laughing, mocking it; the spell broken. Ryder wilting in the front - a flower in Voeld’s wind - with a forced laugh, trying to play along like her heart wasn’t crushed under her dust-speckled boot._

_Heart, feeling like it had sunk to the bottom of one of Elaaden’s sinkholes, never to be found again; covered in rock and dust and turned to sand forever. Broken, arguably._

_It was all a rouse…_

Was it?

Ugh... Not that it changed anything now. The desire in her voice did the job... 

 _Did she?-Was it…?_ allthose looks and lingering, flirtatious touching… _was that what she actually sounded like when she-when she was so close-I’m so close…_ An image of Peebee, arched above her, blue breasts and pert nipples on most glorious display; Sara shivered and cried out into the side of her cheek, head tilting to the side and into her pillow to stifle the sound. Wetness coating her hand and inner thighs, and probably the sheets… her climax giving her little release, especially with the memory of the awkward finish in her head. _Damnit._

 

 _Pathfinder,_ SAM’s voice cut through her afterglow; not that it was much of a relief. She felt like she could go again, and again, and again, until it really was Peebee above her, rocking into her, onto her, pulling those cries from-

“Yes, SAM?”

_May I suggest speaking to Pelessaria? There was a high percentage of distraction during our last mission; a 54 percent drop in focus and a 61 percent rise in eye movements towards the asari-_

_“SAM,_  it’s fine…”

 _Yes, Pathfinder. I have one final statistic, if you would like me to share?_ Sara sighed and slumped over the side of her bed, pulling on her shirt. 

“Sure.”

_While I cannot read Peebee’s optical movements as accurately, I recorded that 87 percent of mission time was spent with her eyes tracked on your position, Pathfinder._

Ryder sighed, again; it was her new  _thing_  – her new way to deal. “Thank you, SAM…”

 

 _Maybe he had a point?_  

“Eighty-seven percent?” She pulled on her underwear and pants as she mulled that over. _If you can’t trust your AI, whom could you trust?_ She thought, pulling on her shoes. “That is a lot of looking at my ass…”


	2. Chapter 2

_I’ll just pop in, ask what the hell that little Nomad stunt was all about, and stalk out. Assert myself. Yah, that’s it. I’m the Pathfinder, damnit, I’m calling the shots-_ the door to Peebee’s ‘room’ slid open and Ryder almost turned right around and went back out again; _opps, wrong room, so sorry, continue your insane ranting, don’t mind me…_ Peebee was pacing frantically, practically climbing the walls like their shared Pyjak. She was mumbling to herself: ‘-I need… something…” She didn’t notice the interruption.

“Who are you talking to?”

“Ryder! Shit!” She nearly jumped out of her boots. “You shouldn’t sneak up on someone like that.” The pacing continued, “I’m just talking to myself… don’t tell me you never do that.” Ryder shrugged; _I just do it in my head… get into less trouble that way…_

All the lines on her face were wrong: drawn up and pinched forward. Her shoulders rose and fell with a tension Sara suspected she wasn’t used to carrying. Jet setting from thrill to thrill did that – until the stress caught up with you. Even across the Universe… Something was under her skin; Sara hoped it was her.

“You seem stressed,” Sara leaned against the opposite wall, letting Peebee storm and rant and pull angry raccoon faces.

“I’m not built for this kind of homesteading…” She marched back and forth in the tiny room, barely two feet one way before she had to turn around and do the same again; hand over her face and boots tapping along the metal floor. Ryder followed her with her head: it was like watching some nonsensical patrol route. Something really had gotten to her, was driving her into a frenzy.

Did she dare hope…

_Does she feel it too?_

“I don’t like people knowing where I am. Where my stuff is,” she threw her arms up, “ugh!” _Or where your heart lays, perhaps, Peebee?_ Ryder thought. _You don’t like feeling anything close to this, do you, you crazy asari._ Peebee’s emotions ran more along the manic; Sara suspected attachments didn’t fit into that model. Love, or whatever this was, wasn’t a nav point locked into the Pelessaria cluster replica. Ryder almost laughed at that image: instead of planets and stars: _experiences_ hung from strings, rotating around the burning sun that was Ms. B’Sayle.

She stopped her frustrated ballet, her laborious laps, and leaned against the small Rem-tech and coffee cup covered desk, and Sara couldn’t help but smile at the many faces of Peebee; she was like a toddler pulling a tantrum, all heavy eyebrow markings and thin-lipped pouting huff.

“Okay… so what’s your usual solution?” The fire in her belly had dimmed, like a stray wind had blown it down; not out, oh no, this _thing_ – whatever _this_ was – would be addressed – would be rekindled – but there was no way she was going to bring that up now. Peebee was likely to eject herself from the escape pod with one slam of her fist if Sara pushed her into any ‘touchy-feely time’ talks. She didn’t relish the thought of being spaced by an asari with commitment issues.

“Usually I cut bait: scram, strike out on my own,” she replied, looking down, almost sadly. Sara felt something tweak in her chest. Ached to wrap her arms around her and lead her back to her bedroom; just take it all from her shoulders. _That’s what mine are for…_ “When I felt like this back home I would look for a zero G chamber, someplace to just drift away,” she sighed and took an old mug from the desk, sipping cold coffee. “I could really use that now.” Peebee finally looked up at her again and Ryder grinned; had an idea. She raised one eyebrow and stared pointedly at the escape pod. Shrugged and smirked.

 

“Ryder?” Her voice was deep and dark; lowered by at least an octave. Ryder squirmed.

“Yah?” Like a teenage boy; high, obnoxiously uncool. _God…_

She looked down at her, floating just out of reach – so much more at home in zero G’s than she was. Peebee was splayed out, all arms and legs - _and breasts_ she thought, gulping – and her head was tilted back, revealing graceful and gorgeous lines of her neck. She was so tough, usually. So boyish, roguish. Covered in sand and grease, a gun at her hip… now she was transformed. Asari perfected. Sara saw the beauty she carried; the body under those adventurer’s clothes.

It distracted Sara to the point where she almost missed the next thing she said:

“There’s something else that would distract me.”

Ryder awkwardly tried to spin herself around to face her again, “what’s that?”

“Wanna fool around?”

 

_Peebee had let out a ‘whoop!’ and dove into the pod proper, leaving Ryder in the anti-chamber. “Of course! It’s easy, and it’ll make a huge different, Ryder, you’ll see.”_

_Sara loitered in the circular doorway and nodded, still smiling. Peebee went from frozen to boiling in a heartbeat, almost too fast for her to keep up with. It was just one thing about her that Sara was crazy about. No rules, no Alliance regulations or Initiative roles: just unbridled emotion. Peebee paused and seemed to get an idea, posing with her hand on her hip for a moment,_

_“You know, there’s room for two…”_

_Sara hadn’t even hesitated, “that’s all I needed to hear…” stepping lithely into the pod: ducking to avoid banging her head and making a fool of her smooth move._

 

_Wanna fool around?_

For the second time Peebee had done this to her. For the second time in mere weeks she thought she must be asleep. Or dead. _I’m still in cryo. This is some fantastically detailed and drawn-out wet dream, and I’m going to be unfrozen in the most embarrassing of states._

They spun around each other in the small room; it reminded Sara of some kind of dance: almost predatory; pheromones and lust and the suggestion of sex in the air.

“That’ll be fun…” _That’ll be fun?! Is that what you actually just said? Oh my God, Sara, you’re fucking shitting me… no wonder you’re single enough to be propositioned by your own crew._

“Okay then,” Peebee grinned, her eyes flashing with promises, “say no more.” And suddenly they were upside down, and Peebee’s mouth was pressed close to her ear, so much like her own dream come true – whispering _“relax’_ ”– and her hands were around her, one pressing softly and deliciously into the nape of her neck, playing with the tiny hairs there – and Sara’s arms were around her too, breasts pressed together through too many layers of clothes; Peebee’s thigh slid between her legs and she let out a gasp, forgetting everything.

 _God, this is everything I ever-oh-_ “Peebee,” she moaned as hands wandered to her hipbones; “Ooh, oh, we’re floating right into-the, uh-“ a mouth was on her earlobe, and she shivered; forgot about the pole poking into her back, “who cares…” Her hands slid along Peebee’s ribs, down to the loops on her pants, holding her fast against her. The asari’s hands made their way up under her shirt palming her breasts; she arched into the touch and released her hold, bringing her hands to blue cheeks, lips finally meeting in a messy, wet kiss. They moaned into each other’s mouths, Peebee’s hands squeezing; _roaming_. Ryder broke the kiss only long enough to rip her own shirt over her head, throwing it as far away as she could – which turned out to be not far at all with no gravity. It flew back into her face and Peebee let out a belly laugh at her tangled and desperate position, gripping Sara’s hip with one hand and unclasping then unzipping her own jacket with the other. She wasn’t wearing anything under it and Ryder caught her first glimpse of blue cleavage. Ryder, floating too far away now in jeans and a white bra, suddenly felt like a teenager in the presence of Goddess. She swum through the air and brought trembling fingers to the asari’s belt, pausing long enough to kiss her again and run her tongue along the grooves next to her ear.

She was aflame; afire with disbelief and longing, which marbled into a heady, skin-pricking, sweltering heat. She tingled and throbbed with her in her arms; all sighs and teeth and the need for _more_.

The belt was more complicated than it looked and Ryder blushed a deep red as she fumbled with it. Peebee floated with her back to the floor, with Ryder above her, and continued to run her hands along her bare shoulder blades, her still-covered breasts; into her hair which had come loose in their tussle. Ryder faltered when she rolled one pebbling nipple between her fingers, making a noise that was full of shrill desire. “You’re not much of a Pathfinder, are you?” she whispered, pulling her back up, face-to-face, “can’t even navigate a belt;” she undid it with one practiced movement and let out a bark of laughter. Sara did her best to shut her up; ran one hand through the opened zipper near her breasts and found her prize, stiffening and pushing sharply into her hand; she crushed her left breast gently, breaking up Peebee’s laughter into a staccato of moans instead; a second hand between her legs, pressing into her pants seam, turned it into a series of gasps and light panting. “Oh… okay, yah – you find your own path, then, Ryder… I’ll just- _ah_ -“

Sara pulled her zipper the whole way down and nudged the jacket off her shoulders. Ryder brought her mouth to one dark purple nipple, swirling her tongue around it, driving a louder exhale of desire out of her lover; Peebee’s hands clutched the back of her head, encouraging more, and Ryder felt her trying to grind herself against her thigh; felt her own nipples harden as she shivered at the overt arousal she had coaxed from Pelessaria.

“Mmmmmm, you keep doing that,” she whispered next to Peebee’s ear, urging the contact on, but sadly removing her mouth from her breast. Peebee let out a kind of whimper, and Sara felt a now familiar sear of arousal in her chest and core; knew she was even wetter than she had been alone in her bed.

_God, to think just an hour ago-now-here I am-with her-_

“I will… oh, Goddess-I’m going to fuck you for hours in here, _Pathfinder_ …“ Sara brought her mouth to her ear again, before taking her in a hard kiss. As she did she dipped her hand below, undoing the buttons of those complicated pants with nimble fingers. “Very impressive; I can’t wait to see what else those fingers can _undo_ …” Peebee breathed, kissing Sara’s neck and biting at her lower lip.

There was a second belt in the way and she groaned in frustration, giving up and sliding her hand in the opened top of the asari’s pants.

“You seem to have no problem with the path I’m forging, now, smartass,” she laughed, Peebee groaned and continued to run her hands and tongue along any part of Sara she could reach.

“I should have known better than to call the shots with the mighty Pathfinder,” she mocked, her voice airy and sex-feather-light, but still biting and dripping with sarcasm. “But seriously, you keep doing what you’re doing and I am gonna- _ohhh ahhhuuuuhhh_ , _yes_ , touch me…” Peebee quivered in her arms as she found what she was looking for: wet, slick like oil and so warm. All because of her.

Ryder moaned and kissed her again.

“Make me come, please, Ryder-“

“Oh, _God_ , Peebee… I’ve been thinking about this-“ She said around kisses, touching her lightly and without any clear rhythm; wouldn’t give her the deep contact she craved yet.

“Shit, this is fun, Ryder-“ Peebee used one hand to direct them away from a wall and flip them over, so she was floating above; Ryder wanted nothing more to let her sink down on her fingers and ride her until she screamed, but her pants wouldn’t allow it. “Just fun: two people blowing off steam. No strings attached.”

“Mmmm hmmm,” Ryder mumbled into her neck, not listening, not caring. All she wanted to do was pull those noises from her again; to truly feel how wet she had gotten from their shades of touches and longing-fueled fumbles. “Fuck… Peebee-”

“ _Only_ if there’s no strings,” Peebee gasped, and Ryder took notice. She stopped the movement of her hand and Peebee griped, a little groan, “Don’t stop, Ryder, goddess, don’t-“

“Wait, I-“ she kissed her again, softer this time, creating a little space as she removed her hand. Peebee let out an indignant huff and Sara held up her hands in a motion of surrender before she got out of hand.

“I’m into you, Peebee. I would have never – I mean, this far – if I-“ _God, what had she gotten herself into? Why did you stop? Who cares if there are strings? She was dripping all over you, begging you to fuck her senseless._ Her stomach clenched and flipped with yearning. “I’d want it to mean something… I mean, not that his doesn’t mean _something_ – obviously, it would – I just…” She swum away from a look she couldn’t read and found her shirt, pulling it over her head, “I would want it to mean everything…” Peebee bit her lip and nodded, a clouded look on her face, “sorry.”

“Well, it’s not like I can’t take care of this myself, I guess,” she replied, finally. “I don’t do strings, Ryder;” she paused, looking away, “sorry.”

Sara didn’t know where to go or what to do; she couldn’t very well open the door and slink out with the gravity overridden.

“I really like you…”

Peebee was still breathing hard and Ryder snuck looks at her. Wished she had just kept her mouth shut.

“Ryder?”

“Yah?”

“That’s-uh-good to know…”


	3. Chapter 3

Ryder had loitered outside the apartment door for a full two-minutes, bringing her hand to the sensor and pulling it away a least a dozen times.

 _Should I have gotten flowers? I should have. Should I have? Ugh_ She had passed a small floral stand in Hydroponics and browsed for a moment, taking stock of a lovely pink Angaran bloom and a Milky Way specimen that matched her skin tone exactly. The colours brought a lovely hominess to the stark white and metal of the Nexus; something to remind them both of home.

 _This is home now,_ she had rationed, walking away.

She turned around and went back, picking out a bouquet of greenery. _Just something for her apartment. Nothing more. Nothing romantic, even._ And left.

And went back. _Is this a date? Is this work? God, I don’t even know…_ put them down. Strolled a few feet away and picked up the pink flowers she had noticed first: tipped with purple; reminded her of her jacket.

Changed her mind and left again, sans flowers.

Kicking herself now.

_Pathfinder, I believe you are stressing your cognitive functions unduly. If you wish I can read Peebee’s vital signs for distress or elevated-_

“SAM, _please._ ” Her palms were sweating and she wiped them on her pants; wished she had worn the gloves that matched her favourite jacket. Sighed.

 

Peebee shoved a pile papers off the couch and onto the floor, leaving them where they lay. She sat and cast a glance to Poc, who beeped acknowledgment and floated around aimlessly; the asari rolled her eyes. She tapped her fingers on her knee, checking her Omni-tool for the time. Why she had made this such a secret, such a surprise, she didn’t know.

“Could have just sent a memo; it’s just a piece of mission tech… it’s not like I made it for her or anything….” She looked at the Observer again and let out a frustrated yell, low and growl-like. “What are you looking at?”

Since their _encounter_ Peebee had every intention of leaving the Tempest. She didn’t belong there anyway, and with the thunder brewing between her and Ryder it seemed like a good time to just get the fuck out. Before lightning struck. Before the sparks burned her permanently.

Except she hadn’t. She had stayed, and learned, and fought Kett, and dug up Rem-tech and _listened_ and – ugh – talked too much, “as always…”

And found herself _feeling_ things… dangerous, sticky, messy, string-like things.

 _“You’re very understanding. And attractive.”_ Stern. Like a lecture. Like she was mad at Sara and herself both, for the audacity of it all. _“Nice combination,”_ had hiccupped and staggered. Drunk off her ass. _Sharing_. Spilling…

“Why couldn’t I have propositioned someone else? Sex is easy…”

Kalinda had left her raw. Left her with the o-so-natural urges to run and gun; bury herself in work and danger and sand and snow. “Maybe not snow… too cold.” Ryder hadn’t been cold. She had positively burned. “What am I going to do?” Not like she could run away to a new galaxy… She could find someone else without strings… get off and hit the stars again.

Except.

Except, since Ryder no one appealed anymore. Not even Jaal, who turned her into a tiny child-like ball of giggles and questions.

No one made her skin tingle, like it had when Sara had touched her; made her mad with longing to just give in and –

She had almost done just that, just said, “Fuck it,” and fucked her anyway. Strings and all. The hurt in those icy blue eyes had almost…

 _Those eyes…_ pale blue: darker when she was mad, brighter when she cried. Deeper when she-when they- _ugh,_ “Peebee, stop, you sound like a Maiden! Ugh, I _am_ a Maiden…” She had just lost her father and her brother… “She’s just a baby bird; latching onto me. She’ll get over it. I’ll get over it- I mean…”

_Ah, shit._

Stood and turned her attention back to Poc. Sara would be here soon, and she had a lot of work to do.

 

“Tada! My project: she is complete!”

“She?” Ryder was glad for the distraction as the glowing Observer floated around the messy – _God, she was messy_ – apartment.

Peebee shrugged, “Looks like a she to me.”

They had sat and talked shop with the thing beeping and buzzing around their heads. Peebee was keeping this one – Poc she called her – and was buzzing like a kid with a new puppy – _or the puppy herself_ ; Sara wasn’t sure – but was building the Pathfinder a combat model.

“We can call it Zap! Oh, yah, I like that. Zap! ZAP! Cause he’ll Zap things for ya.” Ryder laughed and nodded; _of course, naturally…_

“He? So mine will be a boy… okay?”

Her excitement was infectious; their thighs pressed close like two little girls sharing a secret. Ryder almost forgot her nervousness. Almost forgot what that skin felt like under her fingertips; how they had flexed and- cleared her throat and looked away. At Poc; the perfect excuse.

“You’ve outdone yourself, Peebee,” she said, hand brushing hand as she adjusted herself on the couch to face her properly.

“I was hoping you’d be happy…” The asari made a move to rise, but seemed to think differently: she seemed at a loss for words. For once. It didn’t last long “–Ryder…” she leaned forward and brushed a strand of hair that had come out of her ponytail. Sara turned her chin down; _yes?_ A blue hand caressed her cheek and they were too close: she could smell the sweetness of her breath as shining purple lips were wetted by a tongue she ached to feel on her skin; she closed the distance before she could help herself, chastely, giving Peebee as chance to shove her away.

She didn’t. Instead she made a muffled sort of noise, surprised but guttural, and then she was kissing her back. Hands pushing her down until she was flat on her back with the asari resting atop of her, lips never leaving hers; it was soft and exploratory, just enough pressure to ghost at the hunger, pent up and buried under the comfortableness, just enough teeth to be interesting; a darting tongue. Ryder’s hands went to her hips – always her hips – while Peebee’s gloved palms pressed against the sides of her face, guiding her. It seemed to last a moment and an hour at once, and when it ended Ryder let Peebee straddle her, pulling away and up. There was a glimmer of something in her hazel eyes; something Sara couldn’t read. She was so new – so exciting.

“Ryder,” she repeated, breathing harder than before “I know I said-“

“-Peebee, you don’t have to explain- I know what you expect from this, from _us_ -“

“No, I think I do – I just-“ the sound of the apartment door pulled them away from the moment and Peebee shot off her lap. “Oh no, I forgot to lock the- _shit_.”

An asari who towered over them both strode in like she owned the place and for a moment Ryder was worried she did. She wouldn’t put squatting beyond Peebee’s peculiarities.

“My, my, Pelessaria, didn’t know you were still using this hole.” She darted dark eyes to Ryder, who had jumped up alongside her; saw them linger too long on her lop sided jacket, that had pulled up to reveal her stomach; her hair, a little worse for wear. “Who’s your friend?”

Peebee grunted and waved towards her,

“Kalinda, this is Ryder-“

_Kalinda… of course. Oh God, of all the shit luck._

The _friend_. The one she had come to Andromeda with. Who had unfrozen her.

And then frozen her heart. 

“Oh, everyone knows the human Pathfinder,” she replied, rolling her eyes, “I meant who’s your Remnant friend? Don’t be so hostile, babe.”

Ryder felt her blood pressure rise and willed SAM to keep his opinions and non-existent mouth shut. _Babe_. The infamous Ryder temper was building. Some apples didn’t fall far from the tree; wouldn’t even roll. Especially when the tree was Alec Ryder. Diplomatic as she was – silly, foul mouthed and free living as she was as well; the symposium of Sara – that Ryder fuse sometimes went.

Often went when damsels in distress were concerned; not that Peebee would appreciate the moniker. She stepped forward, arms stiff, chin held up; eyes blazing.

“Don’t be so condescending, _babe_. This is Peebee’s place, you’re trespassing: I’d say that warrants a little hostility.” She saw the object of her valor hiding a smile next to her. _Good; didn’t sink like a stone, there, Ryder… good._

The taller asari took a moment too long to answer and Sara could see all the venom working its way through her mind. Saw her eyes flit from Sara to Peebee to Poc.

“Well… I am relieved to see you moving on, at least.” Kalinda’s voice dripped with false concern and Ryder fought the urge to pop her in the oversized nose. Peebee turned her back on them both, arms folded, and Ryder wasn’t sure if she had made the right call with her white knighting.

“I’ll walk you out.”

 

“So… want to talk about it?” Sara had made sure to lock the door this time.

With the interruption still fresh the air was thick; she was sure Peebee would kick her out now. _I shouldn’t have kissed her._ _She made it quite clear that she wasn’t interested_ \- her thoughts were cut short by Peebee’s light response, almost waving it away.

“Well, aren’t you a cutie! Real nice playing the hero with her like that.” She put her hand on her arm and pinched. “I may not have been entirely truthful before when I told you Kalinda and I go way back… Gaps in the story, and all, you know. We were-“ she paused “–like family.”

 _Girlfriend, Peebee… she was your girlfriend…_ Ryder just stopped herself from saying it aloud.

Whether the half-truth was to save Sara’s feelings, or that it spoke more deeply about the inner workings of Pelessaria B’Sayle, Ryder wasn’t sure. _“No strings,”_ echoed in her head.

“Now we’re not,” she finished. When you live a thousand years, Ryder, people come and people go. Entanglements are silly.”

Sara gulped; felt her stomach drop to her shoes. She was laying it out plain and simple: _you’re not special, Ryder. You’re not going to change me – we’re not going to fall in love and –_ Peebee broke her completely desperate train of thought again and things went South quickly: “She hurt me, pretty badly… anyway, uh, Ryder, about before-“

“-I’m sorry, Peebee, I don’t know what I was thinking. I mean, I do. I know exactly what I was thinking;” she scratched nervously at her nose and pursed her lips out; blew out a supposedly calming breath. “I have to admit when you invited me to your apartment I thought you might be, well you know… something else…?” _Why are you still talking?_

Wished the Nexus would just collide with the Scourge and end it.

Peebee leaned against the wall, surveying her for a minute. “You thought? Or you hoped?”

Sara blushed to her roots, scuffed her shoes along the floor. “I might have been hoping.”

“That hope had crossed my mind as well…” Ryder looked up from her toes quickly, face screwed up in disbelief of the most wonderful kind. Peebee stepped closer and unwrung her hands for her, laughing briefly. Her gloves were cool on Sara’s flushed skin. She placed a kiss to her lips - quick and soft – and Ryder took a surprised breath inward. Then Peebee’s lips were next to her ear, hot and breathy, their hands still intertwined: “If Kalinda hadn’t intruded who knows what might have happened?”

Ryder felt her whole body shiver; every part of her loosened and tightened in one moment – if her arms and legs and stomach and nose and every single hair on her head had had voice they would have collectively groaned in aroused agony.

“Strings get tangled, Ryder…” she barely breathed into her cheek. “But, then again, I think I like being tangled up in you.”

Tried to avoid her after that.


	4. Chapter 4

Tried. But failed.

Couldn’t help it.

Why she was pining for this woman who so clearly wanted to just get in, get off, and get out, she didn’t know. No Love. No attachments. It was like being a teenager again, not ready to come out yet and desperately in love with the prettiest straight girl who looked at her once while drunk. _This is going to end badly_ , her heart and head had screamed then, just as it was now.

_She’s not even being deceptive, God Sara! She’s straight up telling you how she feels: no strings, no feelings, just sex. That’s how you get your heart broken._

She sat in the mess, going over paper work and sipping tea. Vetra kept looking at her over her visor, watching her pursed lips and forehead wrinkle. Sara smiled back at her, taking another drink.

“Boss, you-“

“-Vetra, can I ask you something?”

“Uh-“ the turian looked nervous; despite her bravado she clammed up quick,

“Do you have anyone else here with you? Besides Sid? I mean someone special?”

Vetra coughed out her rationed paste and Ryder made a move to stand up and help; she waved it away, hacking and waving her taloned hands. “Oh, God, no I didn’t mean – not _me_ – I mean, not that you’re not – I just… _ugh_ ,” Sara wanted to climb under the table and disappear. Vetra began to laugh, and Ryder joined in; couldn’t help it. She stood and emptied her cup into the sink, rinsing and sighing. “I mean, there is _someone_ that I-“

“Ryder, we know, we _all_ know…”

“She is just so-“

The door to the mess opened with a hiss and Peebee strolled in, pinning a notice to the board before winking and joining her next to the sink. She trailed her hand along Ryder’s lower back, maintaining the contact a tad bit too long; or maybe time slowed down for Sara. She didn’t know.

Vetra flared her mandibles out and chuckled at the table behind them, watching Ryder go red.

“Whatcha two birds talking about?” The asari grabbed a glass and poured a measure of Lexi’s Akantha. Vetra narrowed her eyes, “Oh, not _turian_ birds – _ladies_ – jeeze, get the pole out of your ass, V.” Vetra rose and placed her ration container in the recycle shoot, patting Ryder on the back.

“Good luck, Pathfinder,” she mumbled; smirking.

 _That obvious, is it?_ Sara thought.

 

She had called Kalinda just a friend, and Ryder knew that wasn’t true, so clearly there were some issues buried deep there; no wonder she didn’t want strings. Or maybe she _never_ did strings and this was a fool’s errand…

 

Kalinda, who had barged in a ruined her only chance to clarify-

Kalinda who filled Sara with a fire she only felt with a gun in her hand.

 

Kalinda, who had stolen Poc and forced Ryder into Peebee’s space yet again.

 _“I guess Kalinda didn’t take very good care of_ her _…”_ She had spat; let that linger in the dusty air for a bit.

 

Kalinda, who taunted at every turn.

Until Ryder had given in and sought Peebee out in her tiny hovel:

“There you are.” The door opened on a still and silent asari and Ryder pinched her brows together; _this is new._

“Hi.” Hands on her hips, quiet. One syllable words.

“Okay, who stole Peebee and put you in her clothes?” Trying so hard to keep it light, to pretend like this Elcor weight wasn’t pressing down around them every time they were in the same room. That the atmosphere didn’t press the air from her lungs every time she stepped into her space.

“Not funny…”

“It’s a little funny;” tipped her head sideways, trying to get her to smile.

“Okay, it’s a little funny.” Narrowed her eyes and just stared at her. _Okay…?_

Peebee brought her wrist up and pressed a button, lips pressed together and face dark, “I received this:”

Kalinda… again. _“Hey Babe, sorry I broke your pet. It lacked versatility; couldn’t keep up. Maybe I’ll do the same with your other new toy? Tah!”_ Ryder flared her nostrils out, crossing her arms. Was her infatuation that obvious? Was _Peebee’s_?

Strings indeed.

“She means you,” Peebee shut off her tool and pouted; glowered really.

_Obviously…_

“I hate her.”

Sara tutted at her and rolled her eyes, “Really? You sure about that?” Had finally had enough; had to have answers – “-Peebee, do you hate her, or do you still-“ Peebee raised her hands in front of her chest, cutting her off.

“Oh, I don’t know… it’s just drummed up feelings I thought I’d put behind me.”

_Good. Excellent. Just perfect…_

“Turns out I’d just buried them.”

_No shit._

“What happened, Peebee?”

She laughed: “which time? She’d thrown me aside so many times I felt like a yo-yo. Each more cruel than the last.” Ryder clenched her teeth together. “She’d come back with sweet talk, apologize profusely, tell me her _feelings where so intense she got scared,_ ” mocking her; “yah-da-yah-da. Until she disappeared…” She shrugged, “I thought we were a team. She made me feel special… turns out I didn’t know her at all.”

Sara’s hands had made fists without her consent and she was breathing through her nose in sharp blasts; _she never deserved you…_

“This is what happens when you let people in; acquire baggage.” She closed her eyes; the lack of fire and emergency flares coming off her unnerved Ryder. This was serious. This could break them.

_God damn Kalinda…_

“I travel light. No baggage;” she was so still. Ryder swallowed hard. “I let Kalinda become important to me: look where that ended up. Now you’ve become-“ she caught herself, going a dark purple and darting her eyes away, “or you’re becoming-uh-important.” Ryder titled her head. “But you need to know I resist checking out of this hotel everyday.”

That hurt. Deep.

 _Why am I even bothering? Is this worth it? Is she worth this crushing, rail-way spike feeling every day? Why don’t you then, Peebee? If it’s me keeping you here then_ tell me _! If it’s tech, then go to hell…_ What she actually said was:

“Well, with accommodations like these I don’t blame you.” Peebee finally smiled, but it wasn’t the one that lit up her whole face, made her eyes dance.

“You are funny,” She touched Ryder on the arm, squeezing her wrist, “I just need a little space… time to think.”

 

Tried but failed to stay out of her space.

Couldn’t avoid someone when they spaced you into a volcano.

 

“Peebee?” Had left them on the bridge and gone hunting.

“Back here. I won’t bite. Hard.” Ryder gulped,

“Uh- I’m not alone…” Jaal chuckled beside her and gave her a wink. She blushed.

“Okay? I won’t bite either of you.”

“What’s this about? We’re looking for a place to touch down.” Peebee was standing in the escape pod, looking out into the room. Far enough in that Sara and Jaal stepped in to hear her properly.

“Kallo won’t find a safe place.”

Then the door slammed closed and the alarm blared out and Ryder sighed; took one moment of resignation – one moment of _should have seen this coming_ – before they were jettisoned out and into space. _I called this… did I not call this?_

“You keep me on my toes, Peebee,” she yelled over the blaring noise of space and air and alarm bells.

 

“So, uh, are you mad?” She was looking over at her, she knew – she could feel those green eyes on the back of her head. Refused to look back; all topsy turvy and sweet. She sighed,

“I’m not mad, Peebee.”

 

Was decidedly not mad when Peebee had bopped Kalinda in the nose without a backwards look; made it all almost worth it. Loved that look on her face; all determined fury and take-charge.

_I’m not mad at all…_


	5. Chapter 5

“This is unacceptable,” Cora stormed through her bedroom door, showing uncharacteristic loss of control as biotics swirled around her. Ryder slid away from her terminal and stood with one hip cocked out,

“Yes, please, come on in, Cora,” she said, placing the model she had been working on on its pegs.

“Oh all the stupid, irresponsible… not thinking of the mission… If you weren’t trying to get into her pants – _unacceptable_.”

“Excuse me?” Sara turned to her and glared; “This isn’t the Alliance, Cora, or the Commandos. We do things differently: we do what needs to be done. We’re explorers, not a regulated government body-“

_And I’ve already been in her pants, thank you very much._

“-Your father-“

“-My father is dead; and he made me Pathfinder.” Cora started, stopping her advance just short of Ryder. Her biotics blinked out and she swore, under her breath.

“Yes, he did…” Sara sunk down onto her bed, sighing,

“Sorry, I didn’t mean that to sound like…”

“No, no you’re right. I apologize,” Cora sat in one of the chairs nearby, rubbing her forehead with three fingers and closing her eyes for a moment. “But, hear me out, okay?” Sara nodded, beckoning her to continue. “Your infatuation got you into that mess. You’re being reckless when it comes to her. You went and died on us and she never even changed her attitude towards you-“ Ryder opened her mouth to protest – to ask if it was that obvious – “and then you went and helped her anyway!”

“I helped you, and Drack, and Jaal, and-“

“For the Initiative!” Cora brought her voice back down, stopping and breathing before she spoke again, “That was all for us here in Andromeda. You only went to get that tech because Peebee wanted it. And she only wanted it so badly because her ex had it…”

“You don’t know her…”

“Do you?”

They sat in silence for a while. The weight of that statement hanging over Sara’s head like her Asari Sword. “I am just thinking the lady doth protest too much; are you sure you’re not in over your head here? That she’s not just hung up on this Kalinda and using you?” Sara couldn’t hide the tender flash of shock on her face. Cora raised her eyebrows: _see? I am making sense._ “That this isn’t always going to be a struggle, Sara?”

Ryder stood and Cora took the hint; joined her and made her way towards the door. “I will think about what you said, Cora.” The Lieutenant nodded, and Sara walked her all the way to the hall; “Speaking of… have you been to see Scott?” Raised one eyebrow and smirked. If this woman was to be part of her family she better make nice. Nicer. Liked her a lot, _she’s just so… rigid. Well, at least I know Scott and I have very different tastes… maybe he’s got some left-over mommy issues._ Cora made a noise in her throat, somewhere between a groan and sigh, and looked back at her over her shoulder.

“Yes. Thank you for letting me know he was awake.” Sara nodded and let her go on her way.

 

The ship was quiet and dark; anyone who wasn’t on their shift of night duty was sound asleep.

Sleep wouldn’t find her. She tossed and turned in her bed; in her mind. Toiling over what she had already felt – suspected – and what Cora had solidified. She pulled her pillow over her head and grunted, _this is stupid. I should be worried about Podromos or the asari refugees, not one single foolish, uncontrolled asari on my own ship…_ Threw her pillow across the room and sighed. _I need that._ Got up and padded across the cold floor to grab it and eyed her private reserve – correction: her Dad’s private reserve - on the shelf. _Fuck it._

Had an idea.

Opened the comm channel and keyed in Peebee. Had to talk to her about it. Had to know for sure.

“Peebee, can I see you in the Pathfinder’s quarters for a moment?”

 

Sara heard her door slide open for the second time today. No footsteps followed. She was perched on the edge of her bed, sipping the strong drink and waiting for Pelessaria to emerge from the shadows. She had thought about changing out of her nightclothes and back into uniform; didn’t want to send the wrong message with her tank top and thin cotton pants, but didn’t want to scare Peebee off with formality either. After the escape pod stunt she suspected the asari was feeling uncharacteristically embarrassed. Had been vague and slinking around corners since they had returned from the Archon’s ship and Pas-10. “Peebee? I don’t bite.” She called out, mimicking her.

“I might like that,” she heard in the darkness of the threshold; smiled to herself.

“Want a nightcap?”

Peebee stepped into the room, lights dim and engines humming; she wore a tight pair of stretchy shorts, purple and form fitting, and a black tank top much like Sara’s white. _Fitting… just, classic,_ she thought, sipping the wine she held and mulling over the colors. Life imitating art, yet again.

Peebee looked down at the pillow and raised her brow in question; seemed to relax. She let out a long breath, and approached the bed; Sara noticed just how sculpted her shoulders and biceps were. A by-product of digging and climbing and surviving, she suspected. She wanted to run her tongue along them. Took another sip to save face.

“You called me here in the middle of the night for a drink?” She had one hand on her hip, dipped into the waistband slightly; a habit of old she couldn’t break.

“Well, you’ve barely spoken to me since last week… do you want one?”

_There she was, just sitting in her flimsy pants, sipping wine, so normal; like she hadn’t just left them… left me._

Peebee didn’t answer; Sara put her glass down on the night stand and stood, “actually, I wanted to talk…” Peebee’s eyes became slits, clearly tumbling something around in her head. Skittish and wary. Her own wild animal. _I’ll never tame her. I like it that way._

She took a step towards Ryder and took her glass from the stand; took a large drink from it and put it down.

“About?” Ryder stared at the marks her lips had left on the glass; stared at her lips, stained a deep red by the wine. She made a garbled noise in her throat, thrown off.

Always thrown off by her.

“Kalinda-“ Peebee set the glass and down and turned away. “Are you-are you still in love with her, Peebee?” Ryder gathered up every ounce of courage she had and walked to her, putting a hand on her shoulder; didn’t spin her around, just wanted her to know she was there. Peebee laughed, low and almost noiseless. She placed her hand onto of Sara’s, backwards onto her own shoulder, and sighed.

Ryder noticed the freckles that decorated her back and arms; multi-colored and wonderful. Like the Meridian map or a model universe. Blue, white, turquoise stars; her own celestial navigation to follow to her heart.

She bent down and kissed one next to the nape of her neck, on the top of her left shoulder blade, and Peebee shivered into her. She dared to snake her other hand up under her shirt, running it along the line that bisected her stomach; up until she felt the soft underside of her breast.

“Pelessaria…”

Peebee’s other hand pressed onto of Sara’s, guiding it up and holding it over her breast. “I just want to know…”

She suddenly spun on her, throwing herself into Sara and pulling at clothes; tearing at her with her teeth. Ryder wrapped her arms around her and lifted her, carrying her to the bed with a strength she didn’t often show. Blue legs wrapped around her waist, hot body close to hot body.

Peebee was savage, ripping her top over her head and grabbing at every bit of exposed flesh; every dark brown freckle and mole, every place that made her gasp and shudder. Sara held herself up with one arm and ran the opposite hand up and down her ribs, her stomach, her leg, through the thin fabric of her shorts. Wished she could wriggle out of these pants.

“No strings, Peebee. I don’t care… I just need you – I want you-“ _She had almost missed her chance. If SAM hadn’t been able to revive her; if she hadn’t woken up, left her before she even had a chance to begin…_ “No strings. Just you and me, here.” Peebee let out a high pitched noise and nodded into her arm, biting and licking at Ryder’s flexing bicep; she wrapped her arms around her back and pulled her down, pressing their weight together; so different than gravity-free. There was a magnitude to it: all her bones and muscle and blood and everything that made her, _her_ , was there. She was alive. Peebee kissed her, using fingers in her hair to drag her down; using her thigh to buck up and rub against Ryder’s very core; she moaned and ground down, feeling the glorious friction against her clit; Peebee could feel her wetness through the thin fabric on her bare leg. Her stomach flipped and kicked; full of butterflies and cloud heads. Scorching hot liquid craving; all her emotions rolled into a tight cluster.

_Alive._

She whimpered and threw her head back, letting Sara kiss her throat, her collarbones; put both hands over her eyes and stifled a cavernous, flooding feeling. Her stomach and chest yawning and brittle; tears.

 _She’s alive. She’s alive and on top of me, and I want her so…_  
“You died…” Ryder stopped her worship and lifted herself up; staring down at her. Peebee still had her fingers blocking her view but Sara saw the pinching of her features, the hitch in her chest. “You _died_ …”

“I came back.”

_Zero activity._

“You don’t know… what it was like.” She shuddered with grief; the hot pool of lust replaced with dread; expanding and cold. “You were dead, and SAM-“

_Stimulating the cardiovascular core…_

“SAM couldn’t bring you back…” Her voice was small; meek and hollow.

 _Zero activity._ Two words that had changed her. Every molecule shifting and moving under her skin; elastic bands in her veins, pulled tight to snap; a bitter, intoxicating horror filling her chest, lungs; soul.

_Zero activity…_

“This is why I don’t do strings…” She removed her hands from her face; they were a little wet, but she wasn’t crying and that’s all that mattered.

_Except you’re already interwoven, entangled; entwined._

“You left me… like she left me… how could you?”

Ryder kissed her; felt something shift between them; an almost audible crack in the air. She gathered her up and let her lay her head on her chest, breathing long and low and deep. She smelled of ozone and the lotions Jaal made and handed out. Like what she had imagined Thessia would smell like after a storm; lightning and fresh flowers.

“Stay with me tonight?” Sara thought she felt a tear run down her breast. Didn’t dare move to check.

She didn’t bother to wipe her eyes; slept with her in her arms, heartbeat loud and comforting in her ears.

_Alive._


	6. Chapter 6

The Pathfinder slept in.

Lexi, who had been the only crewmember awake the night before sent an email declaring it a ‘mental health day,’ no matter what their leader said. No shore leave allowed, but a day to wander around the Tempest and mingle. Relax.

Lexi, who had seen the drama play out for months, from her forgotten place in the med bay; who had heard Peebee sneak down the ladder and into Sara’s quarters. Who had heard quiet gasps and panting from behind the locked door when she had passed to make another cup of tea; Suvi had granted her a small amount of Earth leaves and she cherished her tea time alone at night, with her life-giving machines gently beeping around her, lights flashing and keeping her company.

Peebee avoided her like the plague, as if she was going to stick her with a needle in the halls of the ship at any moment, but her heart went out to the young asari. Knew there were profound abandonment and trust issues brewing in her, and she had a very long life to live with that.

 

Sara woke late and to an empty bed. She hadn’t really expected Peebee to stick around, but it still spiked at her heart a little. She rolled over and stuck her face into her pillow, which held a faint rosy, violet, effervescent scent. _Peebee’s scent._ She smiled into the fabric and dozed for a moment, remembering her fevered touches and wild tanglement from the night before. _Oh, shit, what time is it?_ She jolted upright and checked her Omni-tool; saw Lexi’s email and groaned. _We really need to be more careful around this tin can._

She wasn’t sure she should seek Peebee out. Despite their contented sleep she still wasn’t sure where they stood. She had all but given in to lust and thrown caution to the wind, but Peebee had all but admitted she _cared_ about her. She padded to the mess instead and made a pot of coffee, mulling it over and grunting a hello to Liam and Jaal, who were strutting around topless; all testosterone and rutting. Rubbed the sleep from her eyes and leaned against the counter, watching the dark beverage drip into the carafe.

 

She took her coffee and went back to bed, lounging and drinking the whole pot as she skimmed through a datapad; a Prothean paper written by a young asari back in the Milky Way. The doctor had both been an inspiration to her during her archeology career, and had left audio logs and books for her father’s journey, and Sara thought the information might be pertinent to the Jardaan and their Remnant.

 _Peebee might like this,_ she thought, suddenly. Wasn’t even sure the asari knew their shared love for relics; that Sara had been a watered-down version of herself – albeit with a rank and System’s Alliance number – back home. _We should grab a drink the next time we’re on the Nexus. Start over; really have a date and forgot all this sexual tension and electricity…_

_Fat chance._

 

Eventually she stretched and dressed, emerged from her cave and dropped her mug and decanter off in the mess hall. On the way upstairs she popped her head into Lexi’s domain and cleared her throat; the doctor turned from her patient and smiled. Ryder nodded and mouthed “thank you” before leaving her with Drack; _there’s a love story for the ages,_ she thought, grinning. Lexi winked and nodded back.

Sara took her datapad and stood outside Peebee’s room, blowing out a long breath in anticipation of what she would find. Dr. T’Soni’s work would give her an excuse if one was needed, but she still wasn’t sure if Peebee would appreciate her presence.

“Hey Peebee,” she was darting around the room again, checking and rechecking Poc and avoiding eye contact.

“Hold that thought: sit tight. Uh, I’ll be right back,” she dashed past her and out the door, barely giving Ryder a chance to shove the datapad into her chest, mumbling,

“I thought you might want to read-“

Ryder gave her a look as she retreated towards the stern of the star ship, but let the door close behind her. She stood for a moment in silence, wondering if she was going to be back, why she hadn’t just followed her, why she had to stay here- Peebee’s voice rang out, coming out of Poc’s face, and Sara almost laughed; _was this the grown-up version of leaving kindergarten notes?_ She crossed her arms and let one hip take her weight, smiling.

“Hello…” She sounded skittish, nervous and jittery; as if she had been the one to drink the whole pot of coffee. “Don’t worry, I’m not springing anything terrible on you this time. Actually, you be the judge… I’m just going to come out with it… I want you, Ryder,”

Sara’s heart skipped beat and she let her arms fall, looking around the pod, so sure the asari would pop out and tell her it was a joke. “More than friends, more than lovers. I want strings. All the strings. You said you wanted that – before, I mean – but things can change… after last night… So…”

 _Oh, you crazy asari. You adorable, nuts creature._ Her chest felt hot and full; a glowing bloom that came from the tip of her toes. “…at the beep, just let me know: Do you want to be with me for real? Either way, join me in the meeting room, huh? Um: beeeeeeeeeep.” She trailed off and Sara laughed – really, heartily laughed –

“Oh, Peebee…”

 

She stopped herself from dashing the whole way to the vidcom console. Tried to gain control of her racing heart and pulse. She heard Peebee’s voice, faint but going a mile-a-minute from the top of the ledge and she paused at the bottom, wanting to just listen to the melody for a moment longer. It seemed like she wasn’t the only poor soul Peebee had grand messages for.

“… I’m proud and happy to be part of this team. This… family… That’s… that’s really it.” Ryder closed her eyes and shook her head, slowly coming up the platform; Peebee was standing in front of her ground team. She looked over at Ryder with wide and anxious eyes before going plum and turning away.

“Well… great. So, uh, my place is an utter mess – who wants to help me clean it up?” Everyone mumbled their regrets, pushing past Ryder one by one, until she was the only one left. She crossed her arms and stared at her; she was deliberately looking away.

“I’ll help you.”

Peebee looked over, puppy-eyed and sallow for a moment before it actually hit her ears; sunk in. And then there she was, hip to hip – again – knocked down onto her back with her riding her pelvis, again. “I want to be with you… Only you.” Lips pressed against her, warm and soft and slightly salty, and then they were laughing and letting hands wander with a slow burn instead of the frantic race to the finish they were so used to.

This strange, bubbly asari, who was at once both playful and curt; all goof and hard edges. She surprised her everyday. Had fallen so hard for her. Literally. “You’re something else, Pelessaria B’Sayle,”

Peebee screwed up her face at the use of her whole name, but the mirth in her eyes gave her away. She kissed her again, pressing her forearms on the floor beside Sara’s ears and leaning her weight down. She kissed her lips and forehead and the tip of her nose, not so subtly grinding her pelvis down to break up Ryder’s breath. She stopped her teasing and lay still, using one hand to play with strands of Sara’s hair; soft and silky and full.

“I-I didn’t want you to think-anymore… when you died, I felt… well, nothing like when she left, okay? She hurt me bad; I moped around the desert for weeks until I found my passion again, but when you died… I didn’t know what to do; I didn’t know if I would ever feel passion again. Which is stupid, I know, cause I’m asari, and I’m still going to outlive you-I mean, it’s not like I’m the kind of person to save myself for anyone, so I will find someone else, eventually, but –“ Ryder rolled her eyes and put a finger to her lips,

“Peebee? Not helping…” She blushed, again. A new record, Ryder thought.

“I had to make a move. I had to let you know; I hate strings, but… I-“

_I love you._

Ryder heard it loud and clear; it didn’t have to be said aloud. “-I want them with you.”

“You’ve got ‘em,” Sara replied, raising her hand and stroking her cheek, lightly. They kissed, again, with the stairs dancing around them outside the magnificent windows, and when Ryder opened her eyes again Peebee still had hers closed. She caressed one crest tendril softly and whispered: “Strings aren’t so bad, Peebee… maybe I’ll tie you up with them.”

“Hmmm,” she breathed; Sara saw her eyes growing smoky and dark, grey tendrils swallowing the green. “I guess they do have their uses…”


	7. Chapter 7

Ryder vaguely heard her terminal beep and looked up from her polishing.

 _You have new email at your terminal, Pathfinder,_ SAM confirmed, and she thanked him and stretched.

She had her armour and helmet laid out on the floor of her little load out room, and she sat crossed legged and sore, rubbing oil over rusty bits and checking for dents and cracks. She lifted herself up on one arm and made her way to the bridge, waving to Kallo and Suvi before she opened her mail, smiling when she saw Peebee’s name in her inbox:

 

TO: S. Ryder

FROM: P. B’Sayle

 

Hey there, gorgeous. I left a little something in your quarters. Nice digs, by the way. Wouldn’t mind spending more time there. Hint, hint.

 

\- Peebee

 

Resisted the urge to bolt to her quarters; had an appointment with the dinner she had in the oven and would have a very displeased crew if she burnt it. Had heard all about Vetra’s steak incident.

 

She had seen her the hour before; _had pressed her forehead and tongue against the glass outside the medbay and made smudges with her face. Had made her laugh and Lexi roll her eyes, distracting the asari from her post-mission exam. Lexi took the moment to shove a needle into her expose bicep, administering a shot – tetanus was Ryder’s guess; Peebee had taken a bad landing onto a pile of Outlaw scraps at the Flophouse on Kadara; had come away bloodstained purple in a few places, but grinning like a lunatic. Peebee yelled – loud enough that Sara heard it, muffled, through the glass and swatted the doctor away, scowling and rubbing her arm._ At least it wasn’t in your ass, Peebee _, she thought, pressing a kiss to the glass and going on her way._ That would have been a nicer view for me, though… _her cheeks deepened with a flush and she daydreamed her way into the mess; her turn to cook._

_She was chopping Angaran vegetables and humming to herself when warm, blue arms wrapped around her waist; a soft, warm kiss on her neck. She almost removed her pinky finger with the tremble Peebee’s mouth left in her, her hands shaking and making the knife jump._

_“Heya, Pathfinder,” her voice was smooth and low, and Sara leaned back into her; had to finish this meal prep-had to-_ oh, fuck it. _She put the knife down and turned in her arms, pressing her forehead to hers, letting her own hands wander up and down her ribs._

 _“Hey.” They giggled like little girls as Peebee kissed her again, pressed against the counter. Sara felt a flame light in her chest, a bubbly, champagne feeling in her stomach. Every part of her tingled, but where Peebee’s fingers lay positively burned. She relished these easy, fraught-free moments together; touching, kissing, just being able to hold her hand, brush her fingers along her arm, her crest, her ass. No more questions, or questioning, just flirting and fun and the intimate moments of_ strings _._

_“Wanna fool around?” She tucked her hair behind her ear and whispered close, her hand sneaking between them and onto her breast. The parallel made it even more wicked, and Ryder almost agreed. She kissed her, hard, lifting her up and spinning her onto the counter. Peebee let out a muffled laugh, an exhalation of air, and grabbed both her shoulders, pulling her close so she could wrap her legs around her waist._

_“I’m making dinner…” Ryder breathed next to her cheek; kissing down her neck anyway._

_“You’re making me wet,” Peebee replied, wickedly, and Sara moaned into that beautiful place where her neck met her shoulder._

_“Not fair…” She bemoaned, lifting the back of her jacket and running her hands up her back. No bra, no shirt; briefly wondered if she ever wore anything under it._

_“I’m not wearing any underwear, either,” she whispered, reading her thoughts, and Sara felt her own beginning to stick to her; wanted to take her right here – wanted her bucking and wild for her until she begged, and would then let her have her turn on the floor._

_“Someone will see… they’ll hear.”_

_“I can be quiet,” Sara snorted into her lips and Peebee pouted, “I can.”_

_“Yah, sure. We’ll see.”_

_“You have no idea what I’m like, Ryder,”_

_“I have an idea,” she laughed._

_Peebee squeezed with her legs, pulling her hair from its tie and lacing her fingers through it until she hit her scalp. “You’ve only seen foreplay…”_

_“Show me, then-“_ God, show me, please.

_Husky and broken. Playful had turned to deadly serious in mere moments; needed her. Needed to hear those sweet little noises she had been dreaming of for so long. Had never wanted anything or anyone more in her life; felt dizzy with her scent, intoxicated by her._

_“Oh, but you’re making dinner,” she giggled, more demon than a woman;_

_“Tell me, then-“ Ryder heard her voice crack, removed her hands from her back and ran one between her legs, felt the heat through her pants; knew there was no extra barrier there. “Tell me what you’re like…” Peebee moaned, lifting her hips into her. She bit at her lip for a moment and her eyes flashed, “I’ve been dying to know since I first laid eyes on you.” Peebee thought for a moment,_

_“I’m wild, Ryder,” she rubbed mercilessly against her, “I like being on top…” She shoved her gently with hands against shoulders and used her biotics to lower her to the floor, jumping down and straddling her. “Having the control,” Peebee leaned over her, lifting up onto her knees ever so slightly, so she could whisper in her ear; Ryder cupper her ass and moaned: “I can come again, and again, and again, until you’re begging me to stop-“_

_“Oh, fuck, Peebee;” Sara forgot about where they were, what she was doing, just wanted her naked and dripping and throbbing around her fingers._

_“I want you, Ryder; I need you inside me-“ she felt her arms tingle, every hair on her body standing on end._

_Sara groaned and shivered, began to undo her pants when the door opened and Jaal strode in with a mug in his hand. He almost dropped it, but – to his credit – just laughed._

_Sara let out a yelp and tried to hide her face; knew this was bad idea. Peebee stopped kissing her but just looked up at him, calmly. Like she was tinkering on the Nomad and nothing more. As if her girlfriend wasn’t about to be knuckle deep in azure. “Hey Jaal, mind coming back later?”_

_His deep voice boomed around the kitchen with mirth, “no problem, Pelessaria, you do seem busy-“_

_“No-no, Jaal – God – it’s fine, we were just- uh-“ She shoved_ _Peebee off her, but offered her a hand to guide her to her feet._

_“Sorry,” she mumbled, but Peebee just laughed, waving at her naughtily as she left the kitchen._

_“You humans are easily distracted, Ryder,” he hummed, retrieving her knife from the floor and washing it with his mug. Sara joined him and washed her hands, returning to her vegetables._

_“Oh like you Angara are so enlightened,” she shoved him playfully with her hip, bumping him sideways. He laughed again, easily and deep; like dark, smooth wood._

_“We are not.” He took a second knife from the block and began trimming some vibrant purple meat. “I remember one girl I dated had me in the middle of a Resistance meeting, once.”_

_She blushed and gaped at him, mouth open; catching flies. “Jaal!”_

_“Not in front of them, mind you. I vidded in and- well- she was a lot like your asari I believe...”_

_They snorted and shared a look._

_Traded war stories of the most devious kind while chopping and searing._

_Did nothing to lower her libido._

Peebee’s message was pricking the back of her mind. With what they had almost done in the mess she was sure her surprise would be of the most depraved persuasion. She checked her timer, saw it had almost run it course, and threw caution to the wind, leaving the bridge and her gear in a jumble on the floor and darted down to her cabin.

Peeking her head in, expecting the asari to come rocketing out and land on her again, she saw nothing out of place. Her eyes skimmed the bed, her desk, the built-in SAM Node; there it was: a bottle and two glasses set next to her bed, a datapad nestled among them, its light flashing red. Sara turned the bottle in her hand; _where had she found this?_ An expensive Earth wine, from a small European country she had once been stationed in, just outside of the Alliance UK Headquarters. “Oh, Peebee…” _Her heart is so good…_ She pressed play and smiled:

 _“A nightcap for you. When you’re ready, call. I’ll come running with a surprise. – Peebee.”_ She looked at the wine again, reading the label as best as she could, and pressed the comm:

“Peebee? I got your surprise…”

“Did not. That’s just a gift… I have your surprise right here-“ Sara cut her off,

“You forgot what night it is, didn’t you?”

“Uh-“ Sara sat on the bed and smiled to herself, could imagine the wheels turning. “Oh… shit. Movie night. Right… Ugh, I have to be part of this family now, don’t I?”

“Rain cheque?”

“Rain cheque.”

 

The vid had been interesting to say the least. The liquor and laughter had flowed, and the air had been full of comradery and merriment; Ryder looked down at Peebee, sprawled out on the floor and seemingly bored, and smiled. She wasn’t surprised the movie hadn’t held her attention. To be fair, her own mind kept wandering back to their heated touches in the kitchen; how her breath and lips had tasted; the wine waiting for her in the cabinet; “ _I need you inside me…”_ Glazed over and hot, she shifted and cleared her throat, glad the lights were dimmed.

 

…

 

“…I think a charm offensive might be more… rewarding,” she interrupted the boys club. Toed Peebee in the back, winking as she looked back at her over her shoulder.

“Mmmm. Yes,” Jaal slurred, “seems to have worked for you two. Beat up armor, enticing scars, soulful eyes,” he leaned over and punched her in the arm. Peebee sprang to her feet; _was she embarrassed?_ _Oh, I’m going to milk this, babe,_ Sara thought.

“Yes, well, time for another round,” the asari spoke, on her feet and blocking the screen; everyone groaned; Vetra threw a handful of graxen at her; dodged it. “Anyone for a Varren’s Jaw? Or a Euphemistically Delicious?”

“Wait – listen!” Suvi pushed her down and Peebee grumbled, leaning back into Sara’s legs. She put her hand on her shoulder, rubbing gently.

 

…

 

“Ugh, no acting like overacting, huh? Even Ryder could do better,” she threw a piece of popcorn at Cora’s head; scoffed.

“If I wanted to-“

The room went quiet outside the explosions and crying from the vid; she looked up from her drink to eyes; eyes everywhere. Peebee squeezed her calf;

“Don’t make me dare you, dearest,” like silk.

“Not on your life, _honey_.” Stuck her tongue out.

 

…

 

Ryder woke to a soft clapping from the screen; had drifted off, quietly drooling onto Peebee’s shoulder. _Mmmm, a perfectly sculpted, soft and lovely shoulder._ The asari had her head leaned into Sara’s, arm wrapped protectively and perhaps possessively around her. She snuggled in closer and made a contented noise.

“Hi.”

“Hey.” She resisted the urge to kiss her in front of everyone. Everyone who was still upright and not snoring.

“Bed?” She whispered, softly.

“Yah-“ she stifled a yawn and Ryder smiled.

“ _My_ bed?”

“Hmmm… yes please.”

Drack shushed them from his spot on the other side of Sara; they giggled. Lexi had made her way from next to Peebee to next to Drack and was subtly cuddled into the krogan’s massive bulk. “Got something stuck in your eye, big guy?” Peebee snarked, “you keep rubbing it.” He sputtered and grumbled, but didn’t really reply, and she grinned at him; “maybe Lexi will check that out for you?” Lexi made a rude gesture at her and Drack let out a bark of laughter loud enough to wake Kallo.

Ryder took the time to stretch, “Okay, guys, movie’s over; I need to sleep.” She flicked the vid off and began ushering everyone out,

“ ‘Sleep,’ ” Jaal snorted; liquor agreed with him very well, Sara mused. The rest of them rose, yawning and stumbling – or both; Gil piped up from his place behind the couch,

“Ooooo, Ryder’s gonna get laaaid…” He almost tipped over, trying to grab the popcorn bowl; knocked it over instead and shrugged at the mess on the floor. Ryder shook her head in annoyance,

“Go, Gil; I’ll get it tomorrow.”

“You’re gonna _get it_ now,” he smirked, waggling his eyebrows. Peebee stepped in and pushed him out,

“Yes she is; if you would leave. We’re not your own personal Fornax; out, out, out,” Lexi tutted and shoved him the rest of the way; he was sputtering something about ‘that not being his thing.’

“Be safe, you two.” Ryder blushed, but Peebee just shut the door in her face.

“If it’s safe you’re not doing it right…” she purred.

 

They fumbled towards the bed, tripping over chairs and feet and each other. Kisses were sloppy and, though frenzied, missed their mark more than once. Sara stumbled over Peebee’s leg and face planted into the bed, howling with laughter.

“Peebee,” she looked up at her; she was wobbling slightly. “I’m really drunk… and tired.”

“Me too…”

“Another rain cheque?”

“Yah, sure,” she ripped off her jacket and pants and buried herself under the covers, naked as the day she was born. Ryder was too tired to care; too burnt out for her eyes to focus properly on the blue expanse in front of her. “But I’m staying here anyway tonight.”

Ryder took her time changing into something warm and soft, before climbing in next to the asari. She enveloped her and tucked her knees into the backs off Peebee’s, snuggling into her shoulder blades, making a spineless, contented noise.

“I’m glad you’re here.” Squeezed the arm around her waist a little tighter.

Peebee smiled to herself; she liked being the little spoon. She told Ryder it was because her hair tickled her nose, but that was a lie. She actually loved the texture of her hair: the silky strands against her neck and face and the way she imagined it would tickle her inner thighs… Liked it when she took it down and shook it out before pulling it back again. Liked it when she let it down and kept it down, it hanging in her face as she straddled her, as she lay sprawled on top of her, long, lean muscle just under her skin… She had noticed it picked up shades of hickory-cherry in the light of Eos, and looked much darker – a depth of brown she hadn’t known she liked so much – in the dim of her cabin…

No, it wasn’t really about her hair at all. It was about fear. Fear that Ryder would know she liked laying there, feeling so protected and safe and warm. Loved. That she liked Sara’s arms around her. Holding her there; keeping in one place for once. No bouncing or running or spinning aimlessly…

A reason to stay.

_I love you._

“I’m glad I am too.”

Ryder was already snoring.


	8. Chapter 8

Her mother was alive.

Ryder stared out at the stars; she would have noticed their beauty if she hadn’t been glazed over and vacant. It just kept resonating around, her head an empty void: Ellen Ryder was alive.

_My mom’s alive…_

Ryder had never mourned as deeply as she had when her mother had left them. The Ryder’s weren’t exactly the poster child for happy families – absent and detached father, distant, work-driven mother; she had always credited being a twin for her and Scott’s emotional state. Sharing a womb and their family’s skeletons had kept her sane; their easy-to-laugh, easy-to-cry, smartass tendencies came from each other. Or from whomever their parents had been before life had weighed them down. Before sickness and madness – obsession and indifference – had driven their children to all ends of the world, and then all ends of the Galaxy.

All ends of the Universe.

But she had still been her mother. Mom. Had nurtured and loved in her own way; had desperately wanted a picture-perfect family life. _Shouldn’t have married Alec Ryder, then Mom,_ she thought to herself; then begun to cry.

Hadn’t mourned her father properly. Had shoved it all down, deep inside, where apparently it still lay.

She had loved her father; had idolized him and his hero status as a child. Had listened at his feet and trained and worked and studied to follow in his footsteps, but by the time she was an entry-level grunt any hope of becoming N7 had faded; the Ryder name had been besmirched and she used her military service as a way to pay for an archeology and anthropology degree.

Had been so excited to join him in the Initiative. Had been flippant and short with him until Habitat 7, but had dreamed of the day when he would be proud of what she accomplished at his side. Had lived to hear him say one more good thing… any good thing.

Wished either of them could have met Peebee… _maybe one day Mom will…_

_Dad, you would have hated her… then loved her. She would have cracked you; made you smile._

She had been desperate to please him. For him to notice.

But she hadn’t mourned him.

Now she knew he did everything he did for her, for Scott; for Mom.

Wiped the tears from her eyes and stared out at the stars; _you’re going to love it here, Mom._

Earth had been unkind to them; Ellen had gotten sick there, Alec had been dishonorably discharged there; Scott had spent his youth dreaming of how to get off that rock.

Andromeda was different.

_It’s where we belong._

 

Peebee sought her out that evening; hadn’t seen her all day.

_Worried?_

_Maybe._

She didn’t knock; almost did, but didn’t. Wouldn’t let her – _ugh_ – worry, impact her usual MO. Lingered in the doorway and watched Ryder reading on her datapad; clutched her borrowed one under her arm. An excuse, if needed; _it’s not like we’re bonded, I can’t just assume I can waltz in – ugh, why am I overthinking everything?! Fuck that._

She stomped in, looming over the bed. Ryder looked up and smiled. Put her datapad away.

“I was just going to call you down here-“

“-I brought this back,” she threw the second datapad at her feet, lightly. “I liked it; it was a little dry, but I mean, asari, right? We’re the worst; all diplomatic and dull, think we know everything…” she trailed off, daring to look at Ryder. She was smiling. “I mean, not _me_ ; I’m perfect.”

“Yes, you are.” Ryder replied with such sincerity; such _love_ in her voice that Peebee was speechless; dropped her hands and just stared.

“Want a drink?”

“You keep asking me that; are you trying to get me drunk and take advantage of me, Mrs. Robinson?” She screwed up her face, “Liam made me watch it.”

“Hey, you’re the older one, cradle-robber.” She snorted and rose, took the bottle of wine out of her cabinet and poured two glasses. She set them on her end table to breath and lounged against the sloping headboard. “Come; Join me.”

Peebee rolled her eyes at the attempted innuendo, but swaggered her way to Ryder’s side of the bed anyway, and perched near her ankles; placed her hand on one. “Oh, no, no. You don’t give the orders here. Whose surprise is this anyway?” She titled her head sideways;

“Maybe that’s the surprise?” Ryder sipped her wine and offered Peebee her glass; she shook her head, leaning down and kicking off her boots.

“Even on your back you keep me on my toes,” she leaned up and took Ryder’s drink from her, setting it down and undoing her jacket. There was something behind her eyes; a flame that bore a hole through her. Sara grinned and brought her hand to the opening, sliding it in and rubbing circles around one nipple. Peebee groaned, shrugging it off her shoulders and leaning forward into the touch.

“I’m not even on my back,”

“You will be soon… Let’s reenact how we met…” A slow, grin spread across Ryder’s features, eyes alight, hands roaming. Peebee took her hand from her breast and kissed her palm;

 

"Peebee, my mother's alive..." It popped out, this raw moment between them stirring up raw feelings inside her. The asari looked at her and nodded; climbed up next to her and was the one to take her in her arms. Ryder leaned into the coolness of her bare skin and traced the lines on her palm, kissed the freckles up her arm. Peebee didn't speak; waited for her Ryder to break the silence. It was contented, but heavy. 

"For so many years I thought she was gone... She's in stasis. Waiting-for-" her voice broke and Peebee kissed the top of her head, rubbing her temple gently with soothing fingers, "waiting for a cure-she’s so sick-" she broke down, letting all her grief for her mother, her father, for Scott spill out; fat angry tears that cascaded down, got stuck in her lashes. Peebee hushed her and nudged her closer, where Sara buried her face into her chest, salt and sorrow staining the blue a dark purple. 

 

Peebee wasn’t an advice giver, or perhaps no one liked to hear the truths she spewed as advice, but she strained to find something to say; _I want to show you how much I love-everything you’ve given me, how long you’ve held on… what did you see in me, when everyone else-childish, maddening, bothersome, self-centered… I want to make your heart whole again, Sara. I just don’t know how…_

 

Sara looked up at her, a shaken, vulnerable expression clouded by her tears.

 _By being you;_ Peebee heard in her head. You _heal me._

 

_You-heard…?_

_Every word…_

She had opened a meld without meaning to; shallow and mild;

_I’ve never…_

 

Ryder came alive under her fingertips, in her mind; _You are my heart. Even if this doesn’t-if we… You. You. You…_ Over and over as she dipped her head to her nipple and swirled a tongue around and around. Peebee clutched to her, arching into her mouth and sighing, as Ryder sucked and nibbled and found every freckle and blemish she had seen so many times and had never had the chance to worship.

“Ryder…” Peebee tried to reach her with her lips, tried to find bare skin; trembled and cried out when teeth found her left breast. Sara sat up and Peebee ripped her shirt over her head, tossing it aside; they slammed back into each other, naked breasts pressing together and moans spilling into the air. Hands ran over collarbones and shoulder blades; teeth and tongues nipped and sucked and licked at nipples and arms and necks. Peebee kissed her way up Ryder’s chest and latched onto the pulse point, greedily, moaning into her slick skin.

“I- your pants… I want to feel you.” Ryder didn’t relinquish her hold on her; couldn’t let her out of her arms. Used one arm to loosen and wiggle out of them; curled the other under Peebee and around her back, pulling her up and into her; letting her mouth find her neck again and ear lobes and, finally, her lips. They kissed with heat and fervor, gasping, not breathing, when they parted for air.

“God, I- I need to make you come-“ Ryder moaned; she felt Peebee shiver against her, and her skin pricked from the sweet, delicate noises next to her ear; punctuated her desire with a hand slipped into the front of her pants. “Oh, _this time_ you wear underwear…”

Peebee laughed against her skin and moaned as Ryder found her clit; it felt hot and throbbing under her hand. Reluctantly she squirmed free, jumped off the end of the bed and freed herself from both pants and underwear; Ryder saw they were little lacey numbers and she raised her eyebrows. “ _Special_ underwear… you didn’t even get a chance to show them off.”

“Wouldn’t you rather see this,” Peebee replied, standing with one hip cocked out. Ryder’s mouth went dry and she took in the sight before her for what felt like the first time: blue as far as she could see.

“I would. Very much.” She patted the bed and Peebee smiled, came towards her on hand and knee, taking her time to take in Ryder’s naked body on full view. Her legs were long and lean, her stomach flat and blemish free; the short, dark hair between her legs neat and alluring; Peebee licked her lips and ran her hand up a smooth calf, over a bent knee and along her thigh. Ryder looked down at her over her breasts and let out a shuddering breath, reaching down to her and intertwining their fingers.

Peebee kissed the inside of her right thigh and peered up at her, “relax,” she whispered and Ryder smiled, eyes heavy lidded; half-mast with desire. “You’re gorgeous. You’re everything I’ve-“ She couldn’t finish, dove down to hide the frazzled, nervous lurch in her voice; Ryder bucked up into her as a soft, warm breath hit her core; as a soft, warm tongue, dipped and found her. Peebee sighed into her taste, her smell. It was heady: sweet and tangy and slightly overwhelming. Wet and slippery and- Ryder groaned as the asari ran the whole flat of her tongue over her entrance, clit, inner lips; bucked up and cried out and squeezed her hand in a vice.

“Oh, God, Peebee…” Her mouth was relentless: feather-light, then focusing on one point; slow and lazy, swiping across her like she was trying to memorize every place that made her cry out and jump. “Oh, God,” it was all she could say, clinging to the sheets and her hand; Peebee groaned into her; at her overt movements, which were becoming wilder, picking up speed. Sara lifted one of her heels and dug it into her back, raising her hips in an erratic fashion as she rode her face. “Oh, God, Peebee, Peebee… Pelessaria…”

She had never loved her name coming off another’s lips. Until now.

“Fuck, Ryder…” _No, not Ryder. Not here. Here she is Sara._ She lavished attention on her clit and entered her, suddenly, and much to Ryder’s appreciation: she wailed, but it was low in her throat; raucous and needy. Peebee let out a twin to her cry and tried to get some friction from the bed. “You like that?”

Ryder couldn’t answer. Couldn’t create a cohesive thought, let alone sentence. The tight, bubbly, frizzy feeling was filling her; starting from her toes and working it’s way up. Her stomach was a flutter, that sultry, twirling, bliss building.

She was hot and tight and wonderful, and as Peebee began to thrust and curl forward Ryder began to come undone; her stomach was shaking, her thighs vibrated.

Peebee was desperate to make her unravel around her fingers, “Please, come for me. Please. I-“

“I-“ Ryder thrust up and into her, driving her fingers deeper; she couldn’t keep her eyes open any longer, despite how desperately she wanted to see Peebee between her legs; turned her head to the side and into her pillow and let herself go, shoulders coming off the bed, legs drawing up and twitching. She soared and screamed to the ceiling; didn’t care if Lexi heard, if Kallo heard, if they heard her on the Nexus. Had waited so long to be under this woman’s thumb; under her spell. Writhing under her. She trembled as she came, and trembled as she came down, shivering and leaking tears from the corners of her eyes. Peebee placed tiny kisses on her pelvic bone, her inner thighs, and sighed as she removed her fingers. She let herself collapse onto Ryder’s legs, the side of her face against a sticky thigh, as Ryder’s chest rose and feel rapidly, skin glowing and breath ragged. Before she could drift off, she lifted herself up and prowled her way up Sara’s body, a thin veneer of sweat making her passage slippery and easy.

Ryder reached down and ran her hand across a smooth, scaled, waist; lightly running her fingers across her ass, guided her up as Peebee kissed her way from her pelvis to her belly button, across a firm line of abdominal muscles, to the tips of her breasts; dark nipples and sandy areolas at attention and lovely. Her hands led the way, running flat up the length of her body.

“Do you know about asari melding?” Peebee asked as she placed kisses along her skin; revisiting her earlier slip-up. She ran her tongue along the undersides of those pert breasts before she sat up, straddling her hips. Ryder began to slowly run one thigh up and into her; she was glistening with wetness, Ryder could see if from where she lay; it coated her leg and allowed Peebee to slide back and forth on her, taking her own pleasure. The contact infringed on her sentences; they became a series of thoughts broken by moans and whispers.

“Our bodies and minds weave together; become one… deeper than what I just-“

“You are so beautiful…” Ryder whispered, watching her get lost in the pleasure. She slowed her pace and continued to speak, “I’ve never trusted anyone enough. Never trusted myself.”

Sara touched her cheek as she darted her eyes down and to the side; ashamed. Uncomfortable.

Ryder took her hands, fingers laced together again, their palms together; Peebee rested her weight into her, arms extended. Her breasts were on display, dark blue and purple, speckled with freckles. The dim of the cabin threw her body into lovely shadow, creating dips and divots that Ryder wanted to explore. There was cluster of pale blue freckles next to her navel – ones that Ryder always saw peeking out of her jacket – almost white against her skin. She wanted to taste them.

“I’ve got you; you’re safe with me.”

Ryder began to move her leg again, coaxing Peebee back into her movements. She sighed and leaned down over her, taking her in a blazing kiss; a tongue darting past parted lips to seek entrance. Sara tasted herself on Peebee and felt her breath hitch; their movements became faster, longer, drawn out, and the asari untwined their fingers, pressing down and into Sara’s chest. Ryder ran her hands along her ribs and down to her hips, helping her driving, driven grinding. Her azure painted her body with her wetness, and Ryder could see her lips parting on her leg, her clit peeking out and catching occasionally, making her cry to the heavens. Ryder dug her fingers into her hipbones, helping her rock, and hurling her towards the perfect moment they knew was coming.

Peebee sat up and began to move in earnest; “Ryder, I need-I want to feel you inside of me. I want you inside of me when I… I need you to fill me.” Sara groaned and felt herself flutter, a leftover from her earlier orgasm; watched her breasts bounce, her azure so close to her own, the sweat – a fine mist on her skin, making it glow. She ran one hand between their bodies and gathered wetness, tweaking her clit and making small circles with her thumb before Peebee lowered herself onto her fingers; there was no resistance and she squeezed around her, straightening up and moaning as Ryder entered her, her head tilted back in ecstasy, her back arching and breasts pushed forward; Sara felt like dying.

She had waited, had wanted, for so long… had dreamed of being with her – inside of her – the reason for those sweet, delicate noises; for the deep, vibrating cries; for the dripping wetness, mingled with hers between them. She was rocking back and forth, dragging Ryder’s fingers along that swollen, wonderful place inside; she was so deep: a pounding, lunging, circling motion that was creating a buzzing in her body, in her mind; at the back of her skull. Couldn’t keep it in; her voice went up in pitch and volume, panting and gasping, eyes closed and mouth agape.

Ryder’s free hand drifted, resting on a glistening blue thigh, where it was joined by the asari’s, clutching onto her like she would disappear. Like she had to have the contact to believe she was here and real and alive. Peebee had the other behind her, resting on her calf and using it as leverage - rising and falling onto her fingers, rotating her hips and riding her – moving her hand to her own thigh, her breast, Ryder’s stomach.

Ryder collapsed back onto her pillow for a moment; she felt empty and pulsing; throbbed with wanting. Peebee seemed to read her mind and reached down between them, rubbing circles around her clit at the same tempo and pace of her thrusts before slipping inside. Sara began to move her wrist, helping her along and Peebee saw stars, a burst of bright lights behind her closed eyes. She clenched her teeth and hissed through them, before her jaw went slack.

“Sara…” a murmured breath. It was like a prayer; a feather on the wind.

Ryder whimpered and thrust up as Peebee thrust down; perfect counterpoint bringing them closer and closer. Each embedded in the other, moving together like flowing water.

Peebee snapped her head back, her eyes flying open; Ryder saw the void: all charcoal black and inkwell endlessness.

“Pelessaria…”

They ceased to be two. Ryder could feel herself inside of Peebee and also Peebee’s pleasure, mirrored back, and she stiffened under her. They unraveled together, crying out and spilling over, bodies and passions. Their climax tearing through them, galloping and storming.

Rapture.

She didn’t know who she was anymore; where Sara ended and Peebee began. Every synapse was firing on overload and she came again, from the shared pleasure, dragging Peebee over the edge with her, trembling and swearing loudly. They were on her bed, but they were in her head; a vast, empty space of black and blue and- it was like an endless horizon and the swirling beauty of her favourite stars all at once and she felt Peebee join her, creating a physical space for them to calm Sara’s spinning mind.

 _Shush, I’ve got you. You’re safe here with me. This is all ours now,_ she had a vague idea of what their bodies were doing, but she was focused on the meld, trying to process… _It will get easier; I’ll show you how. We’ll learn together…_

 _This is incredible; I can’t believe…_ She could feel aftershocks wreaking her body, and she thrust a few more times, dragging another lovely shudder from them both.

_Pelessaria,_

_I love you-_

_I love you._

They said it in unison, inside and outside their heads. Sara felt like she could die; like she was alive for the first time in living memory.

_I love you._

She heard again, and then she was alone in her head; they had tangled themselves up in her bed, thighs pressing into each other’s wettest and most intimate places, Peebee lying on her chest, hands caressing her face and neck.

They were breathing hard and fast, muscles shaky and unsteady. Peebee blinked and her eyes were once again her own.

“I want you to know, whatever kept you from saying yes before… I’m glad.” She tucked her head into Ryder’s shoulder, eyes closing and sleep taking her. “With strings… it means so much more.”

“I love you.”

Peebee’s breath hitched, a sob – pure, overwhelming emotion – caught in her throat.

“This is where I belong.”


End file.
